Not planted.

Wild roses. Planted by the wind, nurtured by mother nature’s capricious temperament. Like stubborn weeds they bloom in-spite of admiration or its lack thereof. Seeking connection with something familiar. Surrounded by what looks nothing like it. Struggling within itself, “why am I here?” “Why didn’t I get to No 64’s garden, I mean it is only two doors down?” Refusing to smile, ignorant of the pleasure its’ fragrance brings to a wanderer. Blindfolded to the reality that winter harbours same fate for one and all of them including those at No 64. A wild rose is still a rose. Photo prompt courtsey of Trish Nankeville.
Thank you Rochelle for hosting the writing event Friday fictiooneers. To rule is to write a 100 word piece in response to the provided picture. Please click the link to visit Rochelle’s blog. It will be worth your while. And click this link to read other stories and write ups. Some times we get stuck in difficult places and the stress makes us forget our blessings. We envy those being favoured or nurtured by the system. We begrudge them that blessing of famililarity and comfort that we forget what we also carry within and the blessing it can also be. It is indeed great to have people pour into our lives but sometimes we need to pour into others even when our tanks are slightly low. Keep the faith. Chin up and you will see thin pockets of blessings enriching your life. But you will only see it if you open your eyes.

I have a dream

According to Cambridge dictionary a dream is a series of events or images that happen in your mind when you are sleeping.

Another definition from the Merriam – Webster dictionary defines a dream as a strongly desired goal or purpose.

No matter how young or old, independent or dependent on others we are, it is fairly safe to assume that all have dreams which fall into one or both categories above. Of course, every dream will differ per person, and perhaps per stage of growth, we find ourselves in.

However, one marked difference exists between the above definitions, and it is often influenced by the nature of the individual harbouring the dream. The first definition explains a dream as a series of events, while the second assigns a single objective/focus. Likewise, based on the former definition, dreams sometimes can be very intense, scary and realistic at the time. Other times they might seem nonsensical, whimsical or even a fairy tale. Sometimes we wake up able to recall every event in the dream. Whilst some others, no matter how hard we try, nothing seems to emerge from our memory. But a sense of deja vu or danger persists afterwards.

In contrast to the above, with the second definition, the dream is often something tangible or obtainable. It is rooted in the individual’s mind as a fixture. We often have a clear mapped-out path to attaining these dreams. Sometimes we have a timeline assigned to each segment. And more importantly, we know whom or what we need to ensure everything goes swimmingly well. Under certain circumstances, it comes together like the dream we wanted it to be, authentic to the master plan that contrived it. Other times the path to the dream gets so skewed that we might not recognise the end product when it is before us. And at those times, we are tempted to call it an accident rather than a dream. I find that it is more painful to recognise the goal or appreciate it for what it is when the dream is mostly distorted by people who ideally should support you. Or people who deliberately planned to skewer our dreams.

You lay me down by the still waters; I will not fear.

Regardless of the circumstances, it might be worth reviewing how we interpret the idea of a dream. Much like the first definition of a dream, our well-constructed dreams require a series of events to materialise. It also requires spectators, passersby and unwelcomed but even more certain unexpected guests or intrusions. I am learning, albeit slowly, that the best response to these hiccups on our journey is to wake up to the reality before us. Everyone ultimately wakes up from a good, bad or scary subconscious dream. Thus, every dream visualised as a goal or a subconscious event only has a deep grip on you, provided you remain unconscious of reality. You own the dream. It should not own you. Wake up, re-write the dream. Wakeup, rethink the dream.

Write the vision and make it clear, so that he who runs … for the race is not to the swift.

Tides

PHOTO PROMPT © Carole Erdman-Grant

The snipping sound of the scissor was lost in the background of celebratory jeers and claps.

For some it was the triumphant ending to a remarkable project.

For others it was the beginning of new adventure, the chance to start again.

And for some it was just another tick box exercise for the state. An effigy to dissuade a guilty and blood stained conscience from losing all it’s humanity. It was always the same, the politicians could never sustain their quick fixes to deep seated problems. Like a drug addict high on new fix, there was no doubt in their minds the building would fall into disarray a few years, when it’s shinning surface no longer impressed the media. When ghosts buried behind the walls rose to life again.

For Eloise it was already a little too late.

Her flesh was the foundation for all this hope. Her blood, the current surging through the light bulbs.

Alba would never understand a society that indulged it’s appetite voraciously, then plugged it’s rectum just as tight with asphalt. It never led to much.

The old build dubbed “iuventus seditio” Vesna’s altar, by the teenagers, had been torn down. In its’ place stood a new structure christened “youthful springs” by the adults who wanted a new life for all these teenagers who wandered lost through the street with nothing to do.

Thanks Rochelle for hosting the writing event Friday Fictioneers.

Quotes related to the story:

“There are two hundred million idiots manipulated by a million intelligent men.” PE

Every positive value has its price in negative terms… the genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima.” PP

“so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache.” PN

Working to live … living to work.

 

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I remember sitting on the bus on my way to work, scared by the choice I had made, excited by the prospects it held. I remember finding solace in these words:

I go to work to earn a living,

a living in my body,

a living in my health,

a living in my mind,

a living in my today,

a living in the future,

a living in my relationships,

a living in my dreams,

a living in my finance.

I am going to work to earn a stand to live the life I hope and hoped for.

While I can not say that this has made my life a smooth ride, it has however, made me slightly less apprehensive. It made me seek out the rainbows! To appreciate everyone who has lent even the most miniscule of help at any point.

God bless!

 

Happy new year

Happy new year!

I guess in every sense of the word it is indeed a new year for me as a blogger. Today marks my fifth year on WordPress. I haven’t been ‘actively’ around in the last 2 – 3 years, life has happened, life is happening and I am sure it will carry on happening for a long while yet. But before I get carried away to the land of reminiscence permit me once more to say, happy new year again!


The last few years have been filled with so many lessons to learn and many more to unlearn. As 2020 arrived, I had only one request on my heart, to have perfect vision. To see the obvious, to decipher the hidden and to lead my heart to better days. January is almost over, there are lessons to be reviewed and thoughts to be weighed.


Lesson one: stop overthinking. When something happens, accept your responsibility in the sequence of event, admit the culpability of others involved. Overthinking: trying to decipher others intent without speaking to them, often this leads to gossip or to wish you could get back at them. Determine: to take the lessons learnt or steps discovered forward. To see people as humans who are either whole, broken, insecure, arrogant or just plain toxic.


Lesson two: accept that confidence and self- confidence are not necessarily the same things. Accept that many people don’t necessarily know the difference between both terms. Acknowledge that most people in today’s world consider the extreme of confidence i.e. arrogance to be the confidence. knowing one’s weakness in an area is not a limitation in all areas. It is self-confidence to know one’s weakness, to accept the implications of this weakness, to decipher if they’re changeable or not. This limitation should not drive you to over-compensate in other areas. Everyone has weaknesses. Simply decide: to put in your best at all times, to continually learn, to grow your strengths and develop your weaknesses were possible. Determine: not to base your sense of worth on your performance in front of others, you’re an individual not a character in a play.

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It is confidence to know when to walk alone and when to walk with another.

In 2020, Balance is key.

Goal: to always see the woods for the trees.

To know what counts each day, each season and to max out the counts.

Happy new year again!

What have you done with your year so far?

 

 

Much tamasha…about something

Mama said, don’t let the boys near.

Papa said, not before the bull is in the shed.

Teacher said, I will disgrace you if I ever find out.

And me, I wondered what all the fuss was about.

There was silence, then there wasn’t.

There was singing, the sonorous humming of creaking springs.

There was silence, then there wasn’t.

There was drumming, the clanging beats of wooden boards.

Then there was silence.

Mama said it has one purpose.

Papa said it has another.

Teacher said both are plausible.

I wondered if they hadn’t missed something.

There was silence, the mind swirled.

Emotions danced a gig, the body rolled in confusion.

There was silence, the body weaved.

Fabrics lay in cords, hearts tied to bedposts.

Then there was silence.

I said, let words be spoken before the time,

And silence the reward of peace abide.

Devoid of mirrors with broken emotions,

or shadows of stringed-on by-standers.

Let words be spoken after the time,

And silence the reward of peace

on the altar of guileless love transcending a moment.

Mama nodded,

Papa reflected,

Teacher said, ‘of this sort I wholly approve’.

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I see you

I see you,

yes you, with eyes so deep, oceans rise in them.

I see you,

yes you, with tears so silent, dropping pins echo through.

Yes YOU, with a smile so bright, the sun stands in awe.

I see you.

Yes you, having a day, a moment.

I see you,

grappling through the dust for air,

stripping the words for a vowel of hope.

I see you,

Yes you, it’s a moment, a day,

it will pass, and hope will fill your words again.

I see you,

Yes YOU.

flowers
copyright N.chioma

 

Last words

See the source imageFear not, I am not dying, as interesting (read that as tough) as the year has been, we’ve still got air in our lungs, the mind box is still functional, (at least I think so, we will soon establish  that theory at the end of this post). And no this is not a new year resolution post, rather it’s a post to get off my chest something it has been brewing for a while now.

Through the course of the year I have been fortunate/unfortunate to read a lot of social media posts on marriage, relationships and the general emotional upheave that seems bent on denting the ideology that men and women can coexist peacefully under a contractual agreement. I have often been tempted to write an article, or comment in response to these posts. Something along the lines of ‘…..a good man would never treat ….., a good woman would always …..’, and every single time my mind reminds me of how subjective that thought or idea was. 

Reading  peoples comments often helps me see clearly, other times it enrages me, especially when they make references to bible passages, taking them out of context or simply imposing their thoughts on the scripture. A very good example is the Proverb 31 woman, who from people’s comment I deduce is a docile wife, but formidable business woman. A woman with a firm lid on her emotions in her husbands presence, (no anger, no disappointment, no tiredness, basically no negative emotions when he’s around). People assume her husbands delight in her stems from her ability to walk/work as his clone, someone who avails him of the opportunity to be in two different places at once, without being a UFO. 

Others refer to scriptures on the husband that point out his headship, but ignore other blatant truths in the same scripture. An example is the instruction for every leader to serve his followers, placing leaders at the bottom of the ladder. Another one places a demand on husbands, urging them to love their wifes’ in a deeply sacrificial way. However, this post is not about the husband or wife, it is about being a consistently good human. 

Every human should aim to be kind, good, peaceful, gentle, joyful, peaceful, tolerant,See the source image forbearance, loyal, and above self-controlled. This human can be a husband, wife, business owner, ruler, son, daughter, mother, father, neighbour. A human who places this standards as the minimal bases for human interaction, will be a good ….. (affix your own label). They will exhibit these traits at the very core of their interaction, every other behaviour will be subjective to the prevailing circumstances. And, because they are human, they will fall short sometimes, but they will right themselves again.

What makes you a good husband or wife is not in how expertly you respect (but secretly scorn) your partner, it’s not in how expertly you love (but secretly degrade) your partner. What makes you a good husband or wife, lies is how good you are as a person. How far you would go chasing perfection (refer to the above subjective interpretation of proverbs 31 and the husbands roles) at the expense of the real person wearing that ring you slipped on their fingers. How far would you go chasing your dreams at the expense of the other person who signed up to be your team mate, (meaning no ones dream gets abandoned intentionally or without acknowledgement at the starting whistle) and not just a cheerleader. An ambassador (both spouses should be representatives of the family but still individuals in their own rights) not just a clone.

In 2019 be a good person, be consistent.

 

Coloured people

I remember reading an article on teaching children how to share and play nicely with each other. The writer made an important observation, as adults we rarely feel enthused to share our partners, our cars, our homes, our time. Why do we feel the immense need to teach children to share everything they have? Are we indirectly teaching them to always give in to people because they asked nicely? Because they have held the item way too long? Are indirectly teaching them to say yes to every request, feeling the need to only say No when supported by someone or justified by external factors?

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The above line of thought perhaps sounds selfish, however, if you think in terms of long- term, it perhaps might help curb the sense of entitlement growing with every generation.

I want it simply because they have it. If they have, I should also have it.

I need it because it seems to make everyone who has it cool or happy.

Take from the rich and give the poor. etc.

Dignity in labour dwindles, jobs disappear, as popularity contests and get rich schemes flood the world like a tornado. Delayed gratification is now the ghost of eras sailed by and contentment is a rainbow that appears where death almost over-powers life. With every individual fighting to do life their way, it is not uncommon to find someone feeling disenfranchised at each turn.

Today, Idris Alba put up a tweet that has everyone speculating on the possibility of a black James Bond showing up on our screens.  For some this is a good reason to celebrate, to do cartwheels, while popping champagne. It would be considered a rectifying of the odds, a balancing of the scales, considered a victory in the same vein as the appearance of a female Dr Who.  However, I can’t help feeling sad for the child (a)who has to share every toy to keep the other child(b) happy. I can’t help wondering if child (b) hasn’t short-changed themselves by believing that happiness or fulfilment could only be found in having the exact toy child (a) has. 


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While I acknowledge and totally commend the strides taken to include a black bond, a female Dr who and a bat-woman, I can’t help wondering if we are winning the battle but losing the war. For the migrant on the street the war is far from over. For the jobseeker at the interview, for whom the scales tip once a minority trait is discovered, these victories matter not. We scream inclusion, but what we really have are ropes tying us up, with our bias and fears at the brink of explosion. We are all coloured, by our preferences, our thoughts, and cultures. Until we accept it and find self-acceptance we will continuously rub each other wrong. 

We all need to accept that being human is all (those that look like us and those who don’t) we really have in common. We need to embrace what we have and hold it up proudly without oppressing another. Child (a) needs to learn that sharing isn’t always about handing the toy over to the other child, it might mean going home with child (b) to explore and improve their own toys without self-serving interests. Child (b) must learn to find contentment in themselves, to walk their path boldly with dignity and respect. 

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We need to co-exist, not clone-exist

Our eyes tell a different story, so do the pages of our life,

Of what relevance is history, if today is a retelling of  yesterday,

bid me sleep, to dream another shade of tomorrow

another fragrance of the night breeze.