In response to the literary lion writing challenge.
People genuinely confuse me; they never seem to say what they mean or mean what they say. When I ask what they really mean they further complicate things by saying it’s a bit of banter or sarcasm or just the way life is. What does that really mean? Why can’t they state clearly what they intend for me to understand?
For example mum sometimes cries, but then says she’s happy. She calls them happy tears, I still don’t understand what she means. Today I asked mum why dad never spent time with me like she did and she said it’s because am special and special things require time and effort to nurture them. She said dad puts in the effort by going to work and managing the business. And, she puts in the time.
Only problem is I heard dad talking on the phone the other day he said every business deal was unique and required a lot of time and detailed effort to succeed. I checked the dictionary, unique is another word for special. So it’s either I am not special enough or dad doesn’t have enough time to spend with me. I can’t measure dad’s effort but I can measure time and dad spends none with me.
It makes me very sad especially when I think of these words from the library book “you spend time on the things you love, sow your seeds of time wisely,”. So if dad sows one second he might harvest sixty seconds in the future, but if he sows nothing then he gets no harvest. I can understand this, as I love numbers, they help me function. I don’t think mum should say things she doesn’t mean or believe just to make me think better of dad, I am autistic not stupid.
“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend,” Theophrastus