“Time of death is estimated to be around one AM cause of death is unclear at the moment,” Larry said.
“The absence of a struggle, blood trail and appearance of the general area suggests the murder occurred in a different primary site. I want the site searched thoroughly,” Sergeant Lucas said.
“Any idea how the body ended up here?” Officer John asked taking a closer look at the body.
“It would appear to have been dropped from a height most likely the bridge; there are bruises on the impact areas along with cracked ribs. Most of the damage seems to have occurred post-mortem though,” Larry replied.
“Who placed the nine-one-one call,” the Sgt asked
“Lady in the running outfit over by the patrol car, stumbled upon it on her run,” Officer John replied
“Try to clear the scene as soon as possible, the senator won’t like having us in his neighborhood for long,” the Sgt. said turning to leave.
Something about the site taunted his every step.
Written by Chioma I.N
In response to the writing challenge flash fiction for aspiring writers hosted by Priceless Joy click on the link to visit the blog. The photograph was provided by Dawn Miller and we are challenged to write a 100 – 150 words (+/- 25 words) story inspired by it. Do click on the link for other stories.
Thanks Joy for hosting it.
Thank you for stopping by.
Oh dear… serial killer? I like how your last line contrasts with the cops’ business-like manner. Good job!
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Thanks Sonya.
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I found this to be a good story until the last line. To me, that line is telling the reader (and murder/mystery readers do not like to be told, we like to figure it out on our own).
I hope you don’t mind me saying so, and I wouldn’t critique you so harshly, if I didn’t think this story had great potential.
I would edit it to say something like: “The Sgt. recognized this MO and the victim. He now needed to figure out how the two were connected”.
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Thanks Dawn will look into it and I don’t mind the critique at all.
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I’m so glad. I am no genius. I only know what I read. I have posted things before that sounded good after 15 edits but still came out wrong. I figure we are all like that.
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🙂 quite right Dawn.
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Hi Dawn have you had another look.
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It’s a good story. I would put it in a folder and keep it. Ypu might want to make it a longer piece eventually.
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Thanks Dawn.
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I really enjoyed this one, good job 🙂
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Thank you:-)
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Great mystery story! It leaves me with a lot of questions and wanting to read more. Thank you for participating in the FFfAW challenge!
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🙂 Your welcome Joy, thanks for hosting it.
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It’s my pleasure. 🙂
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Good story , great description and enjoyed reading. With more word count you could expand this story considerably. 😃
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Awwww thanks Jessie
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Good take on the prompt. I like how your story flows with the conversation between medical examiner and police. Not too sure about the last line. I prefer leaving it mysterious for me to think about. 🙂
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Glad you liked it. Oh boy, will try out another end to it. Check back in a few if thats possible.
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Hi Susan, what do you think?
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A fast moving mysterious story crafted through conversations. Did you think of a sequel to this story?
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Thank you so much. Haven’t quite thought about it yet.
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It felt like a real life police scene in my head. Wonderful dialogues and I love it
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Thanks Ameena, glad you liked it.
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My favorite genre. You created a visually well-written story. Well done ..!!! 😎
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Thank you. 🙂
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I really enjoyed reading your story, Chioma, but it leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions (as so many of your stories, do.) That’s a good thing in many ways, but the ending of this one perhaps need a clue or two. I like the dialogue very much, and it flows well, although you should, perhaps, try writing it without so many tags. (If you’re not sure what I mean, you can always email me. <3) Overall, you've created a very good crime scene. 🙂
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An enjoyable story with some interesting dialogue, Chioma. I really hope they manage to catch the killer. I hope you don’t mind me saying – be careful with your punctuation, you’re missing a few commas and a full stop. I like your final line, though it should be ‘taunted’ rather than taunting. 🙂
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Ahh thanks Louise will take another look. Can you check it in a few?
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I think I’v caught all the naughty bugs.
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🙂
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I really enjoy your story and the more I read it, the more I think it’d be a good continuation for mine especially the part about a lady in running outfit reporting the crime. She must be shaken up by what she saw. 🙂
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You’re right it does seem like a continuation of it. Hehehehe!Seems like we had the same train of thoughts.
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