And the princess put on her glass slippers and went to work.

I remember hearing the story of a woman who left her husband and family to start a new life at age 67. I remember wondering at the time what was going through her mind as she made such a life-changing decision. A few months before she left home, the woman had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and it is believed this must have ignited the flames of her decision.


Questions: was she in a loving relationship? Did she have a caring family? Was she already unhappy? Did she feel like a burden to the family? Did she just want a new life and no one was able or willing to go with her? Did it sound unreasonable to everyone?
From the above questions, there is only one question anyone other than the woman and her family can answer truthfully and with certainty. That is the last question; how reasonable does this decision sound to you? The answer will be subject to your perspective, preferences and priorities in life.


Will Smith in an interview said something I find very profound: “you can never succeed your way out of childhood trauma, you heal it by doing something for others.” (this is paraphrased and I could not share the link, but it is on Instagram).
In my own words, I translate the above to mean “you can not silence a disgruntled or hurtful inner voice through external results, you calm it by seeking answers, but more importantly pursuing peace.”


Answers to past misgivings or reasons for why they happened are important steps for bringing closure. They help you understand the people involved, to determine how you want to relate with them going forward. It is important to note that no answer, is an answer in itself. And when you get the answer or you’ve done all you can to get the answers, please pursue inner peace with even greater zeal.


Ideally, one should never say to a traumatized victim, let’s pretend that never happened. Or it was all his/her fault and none of yours. Or it was all your (the victims) fault. We could never say this to car crash victims, so why do we say it to emotional, physical or domestic abuse victims. Like an ambulance team at the scene what you need are the facts, the contributing factors and a way forward.


Nothing resurrects childhood trauma’s like having your own children. They remind you of everything that happened in vivid images. This becomes more problematic if you haven’t found healing or moved on from the situation. You want to take them away from anything that might trigger the past again, you begin to hyperventilate and imagine the worst when any shadows from the past seem to cast a gaze over them. In other to silence that inner voice, to find peace and hope for growth, some questions will need direct answers, some places might need to be forgotten. People say love is a powerful motivator, I say fear is an even stronger one.


Considering the above, I would like to ask your thoughts on Harry and Meghan’s decision for their future? How do you resolve your inner voice conflicts?


The papers would have us believe that Thomas Merkle (Meghan’s) dad believes she has just made useless every girl’s fantasy of marrying a prince and living happily ever after. And to him I send this reply and listen carefully Sir, for I shall only say this once:


“THAT SHIP HAS SAILED!” And logistically speaking the number of princes around cannot go round the entire female population in the world. Unless we are aiming to beat King Solomon’s records. Women now wine and dine their ‘princes’, taking the higher road and letting the men curb crawl as they please. knight-1598250_1280 (1)Women now wear the swords and shields of financial responsibility, the helmet of logic and organisational skills, and a firm boot of brass to kick the ‘prince’ totally off the curb, should he start to ask for more than he’s worth, not pull his assigned weight or complicate his duties in the ‘other room.’ For those who still want a prince in the old fashioned sense, have had a rude awakening to the reality that some princes no longer want to be princes in that capacity, and some just can’t be those type of princes due to several changes in society.


I perhaps in my naivety, believe that the mark of a true prince is to put the needs of his followers above his. In this light, you Sir Thomas if you have ever been a prince, through this statement and several others in the past, it is clear that you have fallen down the slopes of nobility.


What say ye, my people?
Is Harry a prince amongst his pears or not?
I raise my tankard of ale to Prince Harry, his bean and their wee bairn.
God save the queen
God save all mankind.

queen-2941437_1920 (1)

Woman to woman

Informed choices not sponsored choices

celebrating strengths, supporting weaknesses

Nurture and nature, fostering the bonds from womb to world

There are no divides save the ones we refuse to own.

Woman to woman, mother to mother

A vibrant story of many lines, a common theme of ‘baby and mother first’ at it’s core

Things fall apart when the core starts to unravel.

I hold you close, you hold me dear,

We uphold the facts for all to see.

hands-699486_960_720

 

Happy breastfeeding week

What change?

“On a micro and macro level, bad leadership gives birth to two individuals; imitators or dissenters. Both with a deeply seated weariness of leadership (good or bad), both unable to trust themselves or endure the reformative abilities of good leadership.” 

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want to be done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

An effective leader should aim to achieve the following:
1.Visualize the future i.e. have an inspiring vision of the future.
2.Communicate and inspire people to engage with his/her vision.
3.Strategize/structure the delivery of the vision.
4.Motivate and build a team, that can achieve the vision. 

2017 was an entertaining year, a year for re-defining leadership. Political, religious, business and cultural leaders were questioned, challenged on different platforms. Some leaders fell beneath the bar, while others excelled. However, I found their response to scrutiny more interesting than their actual performance, equally entertaining was the public reaction to these responses.

From the oval office to its North Korean equivalent, a better demonstration of tyrannical, unstable leadership cannot be found. In the past, tweets from the oval office were anticipated for a profound understanding of societies ills. Presently, however, they are anticipated for a horrendous display of insensitivity to global issues and at best for satirical humor and comic relief. On the other hand we wake up each day dreading to discover an entire country has been decimated by a leader whose ego supersedes his office. Here I was thinking, wonderful things come in small sizes.

While citizens governed by the oval office are divided into three camps; those disappointed by the lack of basic leadership etiquette, those who celebrate it as they had no faith in past leadership modules and those disillusioned by any form of leadership. A different populace exists across the globe in North Korea, citizens restricted from expressing their displeasure for a fear of bodily harm. Both leaders have received cautions and sanctions from the united nations, it’s populace, neighbours, friends and enemies alike, but, all to little or no avail. When we scream for change what do we mean? A departure from the norm, a drastic departure from altruistic leadership? Change on a one-way lane powered by a one size ego, headed to fulfil a single dimension fantasy. Is that what we mean?

Going back a few years to 2015, we cried for change in Nigeria, moving forward to 2017 one cannot help wondering if we got short-changed. The year saw Aso rock riddled with bio-hazards, long periods of sick leave, blatant disregard for certain regions in the country and projection of another regions agenda. Despite public outcry on several platforms decrying the poor state of leadership, the incumbent leader seeks to project himself for leadership in 2019. Is this the change we sort? Change which produced four members of parliament earning post-humus income; if we earn a living what are they earning? A dying?

20180108_101825
What you see, determines what you demand from tomorrow.

Religious leaders weren’t spared, people challenged the need for tithes and general giving to the church. Tithe and offerings of some form has been a part of most religious bodies, a way of sustaining  their physical edifice and structural representative.   However, this act of giving has been abused with some leaders making demands on members regardless of their economic status or wellbeing. Others disburse of said funds without proper transparency or accountability. 

Equally disturbing is the seeming indifference of these leaders to societies ills especially when opportune to speak up or make impact. The lifestyle and speech of some of these leaders often contrasts with the teachings of contentment found in the scriptures.  Thus, I am not surprised by those who view the church as a fraudulent business run by expert con men. With many of them demanding a review and change to the status of the church. What change I ask? That members stop giving? That ministers live in penury? Should we re-evaluate the principles of giving? Where does faith come in?

From the streets of Hollywood to the doors of Sub Sahara Africa, women made their opinions known. A male dominated world wasn’t the way forward anymore, it wasn’t enough to set the table, it wasn’t enough to sit at the table, women want  the right to; restructure the table, populate the table, or simply change the entire setting. Feminism was redefined, sexual harassment was re-evaluated and the merits of marriage scrutinized. Once again the echo of change reverberated through the world, should we be weary of every man? Are all women innocent? If we are equals why are men still largely expected to propose? Why do we silently expect women to back down when an impasse occurs in relationships. Why not stick to merits? Why not take gender off the table?

When we cry for change we must consider the impact of such movements on the future. We must consider the goals of those against us but most importantly we must consider those who are with us, else we wake up to find the prize stolen by another. Must we pull down the entire system, isn’t there something to salvage? Perhaps more importantly we should give our best to understand the system, walking in the shoes of those held by the system before attempting to reform the system, lest we become armchair critics. People who speak for change but do not work for change, either have nothing to lose or have a lot to gain indirectly.

What change do you want?

Always a headline piece

God bless women!

No matter what we do, we never seem able to escape the news or silly jokes. There’s always someone out there telling us what to do or describing in great detail something we should be doing.

From a presidential candidate declaring his personal description of the perfect job role/place for  women in society in a not so secret meeting. You know those kind of secret meetings they have after an interview where they decide not to give you the job just because they don’t like your shirt or your smile. Sadly they forget you’re still in the reception and they come back out with some corporate acceptable reason for not employing you.

To a president’s wife rally up the troops for battle, encouraging women to take a stand, to shape history. To do what women are designed by nature to do, birth something awesome, only this time she’s asking for a communal birthing experience. The birth of the next American president. With every speech, the groans of labour grow louder, contraction lengths increase, and deep breathes decrease.

And we make a full cycle back to an incumbent president demanding his wife goes back to all the rooms allocated to her by virtue of her sex. Rooms where the tremor and strength in her voice alludes to the largesse of his love and place in his life.

God bless women!

It’s no wonder we can never get it right, cos we can’t please all of the people all of the time. Like a learner at a T-junction facing the traffic light, a yellow box in front, speed limit and a speeding camera in place, is the woman who hasn’t learnt to put her earphones on and drown the noise in tunes that get her dreams dancing.

Not everything will make sense in this minute. Not everything will make sense in time, but one thing/ something will make a little sense each time. Hold unto it, give it your best, it might not be what you need but it will build your confidence. Give you that little humph to stand and gaze a little further a field.

Should we all hate Trump? Should we all love him? Should all women wear skirts only? To each his own, if his job description for a woman suits your ambitions or ties in with your principles by all means do as you please and follow his path.

Where are our weapons for mass reproduction? The clarion call has been made and Michelle’s call is a dignified one; or is it? Depends on which way the world stands to you, in need of redemption or just wasted so stuff it in the bin, it’s all going down in flames after all.

And we’ve all had dreams of steamy rooms, filled with smoke, groans and sweat. So why frown at the kitchen when sent in there, Buhari has spoken who dares question his excellency in his palace, certainly not me. The piper has set the tune, the lyrics of Ewedu, gbegiri ati amala from Iya Bose’s kitchen re-vibrate through the house. Oya get cooking!

As for me, well I am just sitting quietly in my corner in a room, doing the job life has given me, fighting battles (some I started, some others started, some I got  roped into) I hope some day would birth something awesome. 

God bless the world!

stock-vector-stressed-out-mom-vector-clip-art-illustration-with-simple-gradients-all-in-a-single-layer-119803675

 

Two sided

Scene one:

Mr X at the office:

At the office he carries out every task as designated by his boss.

Sitting at the conference table he speaks with great charisma, his enigma exuding through the room, a man of great talent, he dazzles his peers.

“Can you run through these facts again?” demands the equally unquivering voice of his boss.

He missed out a tiny details, a mere oversight.

Yikes! Thankfully the boss was able to overlook it this time, can’t let that happen again.


Mr Y at his business premise:

Screaming obscenties at the costumer, “I don’t want to see you near my stall again, useless person. Go and see if anyone will sell you materials at that price.”

“It is a market place and I am allowed to price things, no need to become abusive.”

“That one is english you’re speaking, don’t carry that your bad juju near my shop again ohh. Stingy human being, poverty will soon catch you.”

Walking away feeling slightly embarassed the customer approached the next shop hoping to get a better deal and less attitude.

…..oO0……

Scene Two:

Mr X at home.

“Honey I am home.”

“Welcome darling, how was work today? Hope it wasn’t too bad?”

“No, where is my food?”

“It’s almost done.”

“Almost done, I am really tired and hungry. What have you been doing since you got back from work?”

“You mean since I got back from work and picking the kids?” Laughing “Sweetheart It will soon be ready.”

Thirty minutes later, the meal is served. Taking a few mouthful.

“This food is absolutely rubbish, what did you do, just mix everything up together?”

“Honey it’s not like that, it must be ….”

And that was how the fight started …

Sometime before midnight a jaw bone was broken, a heart raced in anger, another suffered profuse internal flooding as emotions rumbled and roared within, fear lead the losing cause.

He submitted to his boss, but not to the one he loved.

He yielded his emotions to learning and sharing at work, but not to the one he made a vow.

Perhaps his priorities are screwed, perhaps he feels submitting to love weakens him and submitting to money empowers him.


My Y at home:

“My darling wife well done, this meal you made was very tasty.”

“Thank you my husband, how was today? Hope market sold well?”

“Yes oh, the day has gone the way God desired. That reminds me where you able to buy the childrens school books and uniform.”

“Yes I was and I got them for a very good bargain. I priced until the seller almost chased me away.” They both laughed.

“You do well my dear, I can always trust you to be frugal with out resources. That is why you will always be my darling wife, the odozi aku of my life.”

He forgets the lady at his shop was someone’s wife.

He forgets that as he treated one outside, he empowered society to treat those within his household.

Perhaps he feels ‘ours’ and ‘theirs’ are worlds apart, perhaps he feels if I don’t siton my own basket no one else would, he forgets  the world isn’t a one man island.


Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21

To submit to another is not an indication of irrelevance, submission allows for structure to reign. Your boss doesn’t also know better or act better but the bulk stops at their table; a process of orderliness. We stay with jobs, organistions, bosses and systems that are less than we hope for, submitting to it’s dictates and demands, but at the least challenge we thow in the towel or throw insome punches into our marriage.

Male and female we must learn to submit to each other at home and in public. It’s a mark of respect not weakness. I am still in the process of working out my submission skills.

Note: I don’t not in anyway advocate staying in an abusive relationship.

 

 

 

 

No contrast.

Colored,

broad of hip and bosoms

spongy hair, bushy brows

lips that are full in form and words

quick to dispel every hardiness.

Colored,

trim of hip and bosoms

stringy hair, thin brows

lips that are narrow in form and words

quick to describe every emotion.

Colored,

modest of hip and bosoms

Silken  hair, flowing brows

lips that are thin in form and words

quick to defend every injustice.

colored by nature for no one is colorless, designed by nature for no one is a mishap

colored by words as such is the nature of man to assign a label.

Women they’re, different in form like squares and circles, same in purpose as figures reflecting an eternal being. Like a pair of shoes with a varying range of sizes: the maker, factory, design and material stays the same, only the size varies suiting the path it threads to destiny.

shoes-471863_960_720
Image source: Pixabay free images.

There is no contrast here, only comparison by one who questions only the label and not content, vision or purpose.

Daily prompt contrast

The bill; women and society

The Nigerian senate a few days ago rejected a bill proposed to eliminate all forms of discrimination against women. A bill that would have set the ball rolling, promoting equality for women across the Nigerian society. It comes as no surprise that the said bill was rejected.

Equality: the ​right of different ​groups of ​people to have a ​similar​ social ​position and ​receive the same ​treatment. Cambridge dictionary.

The state of being equal, especially in status, rights, or opportunities. Oxford dictionary.

“You will never find the real truth among people that are insecure or have egos to protect. Truth over time becomes either guarded or twisted as their perspective changes; it changes with the seasons of their shame, love, hope or pride.”  ― Shannon L. Alder


The above quote is very apt for describing the thought process of the individuals who refuted the bill; standing on the grounds of religion (Christians and Muslims alike) some senators deemed the bill a challenge to deep held beliefs. And to that I say what a load of crap. I can’t speak for Muslims but I know without a doubt that Christianity in no form encourages the subjugation of another human being. It does encourage a wife to submit to her husband: her husband not all men. God in his infinite wisdom knowing how the human mind can misconstrue things equally demanded that the man should love his wife like Christ loved the church (a part of the instruction numerous men choose to overlook) Why? Because love as Christ demanded bears no thoughts of harm towards it’s recipient (neither emotional, psychological or physical harm). Outside the matrimonial relationship the universal  instruction for dealing with people regardless of gender is to live at peace with each other. 

“Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.” ― Khaled Hosseini

And this my friends is the crux of the matter. Everyone knows the guiding rule of the blame game: blame the weaker opponent, the older child accuses the middle child who in turn accuses the last child. The man accuses the woman after all who will come to her defense. They do not want equality because it leaves no room for errors to be swept under the universal carpet ‘it’s a man’s world’. Equality weighs your capacity not your gender; your competence and not your brash ability to intimidate another. Don’t get me wrong the ‘equality bill’ will by no means immediately change our nation, it’s still struggling to do so in more advanced countries. However, passing it into existence sets the stage for progress. But Nigeria recognizes the rights of women : they work, they are educated, they vote. I do not agree, NO. ‘Nigeria’ decided where to re-position women in today’s society, it decided we follow. Pass the bill, set the stage for equitable partnership across board. Set the bar for merit based awards, not sex based awards. (Every pun intended)

Slide1

I have nothing to wear

I have nothing to wear …

You’ve the choice of: dignity, self-respect, courage, modesty, honor, intellect,

competence, apparels sown by Wisdom- Vision the finest seamstress world over.

Slide2

I hate women objectification …

You put up nude selfies, displaying your goods on a free platform for a price cheaper than a baby’s rattle in a 99p shop. And you wonder why young boys are in a haste to get laid without a care for where they lie and young girls no longer aim higher but lower; health-wise and vision-wise.Slide3

But it’s OK I understand you had nothing to wear as virtue is not an apparel sold in a store near you and the problem of objectification is for the woman with a bad body image not for the one who has no plans to leave the world better than she met it quality wise.

Stop the nude selfies.

 

 

I am a feminist… do you really know what that means?

Welcome to Flavoured Friday Fodder, today I like to ruminate/reflect on the powerful word Feminism. Do feel free to share your thoughts on the topic: happy reading.


Feminism according to Wikipedia is a range of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. It seeks to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist ideally works to establish the rights and equality of women.

In 1963 the book ‘The feminine mystique’ was published by Betty Friedan, it raised the question “Is this all there is?” “Is this really all a woman is capable of doing?” I believe these questions form the foundation for a balanced approach to the feminist movement. Can a woman achieve more out of life? Should anyone other than herself have the right to limit her? In my opinion the various waves of feminist movements over the decades tackled these questions. Slide1

  • The first-wave of feminism occurred between the 19th and early 20th century. It fought for women’s suffrage: to secure women’s right to vote, to be elected and challenged certain legalities around women’s equality.
  • Second-wave feminism tackled issues around family law and the equality of women in relationships, protecting them from rape and discrimination. Started early in 1960, it continues till date.Slide2
  • Third-wave feminism in my opinion lacks the focus of it’s predecessors. However, it has shown a divide amongst the ranks with some feminist believing that there are differences between the sexes, and others asserting that there are no inherent differences between the sexes.

The fight for equality in my opinion should no longer be approached from a take over point of view, but rather a case by case approach should be used. It’s important to remember that it’s equality that formed the movement and not establishing women as leaders over men. Thus when I read the article in the guardian by Jessica Valenti find an excerpt below. Click here to read the article.

“I’ve often counted my blessings that I married a man who is as feminist as I am. The truth is that like a lot of people with busy work lives, I could not be effective at my job – or as a parent – if it weren’t for the fact that I have a supportive partner …. Men who stay at home to take care of children may be admired in ways that women never are, but they’re also derided for not being traditional breadwinners.”

What if her husband gets a job with better financial options for the family and she had to stay at home or cut back her hours, would she still see him as feminist and supportive? If the answer to the above is NO, then am sorry I don’t see that as a balanced feminist approach: if anything it negates the concept of equality. Slide3

Let’s consider another example as detailed by one of my fairy blog mothers Millie Thom: “The bad side of feminism that too often raises its ugly head, is women behaving in a derogatory way towards men and being totally obnoxious to any man who offers simple courtesy towards them -by keeping a door open for them, for example (I’ve seen that happen.) To me it’s common courtesy to keep a door open for anyone following behind me, man or woman.  But this particular woman gave the poor man who’d held the door for her a real mouthful of abuse and the usual accusation of being a chauvinist pig!”

Need I say more, feminism should not be an excuse for a breech of social etiquette and an ignorance of how to dress or behave under different circumstances. It shouldn’t turn us to man-haters.

The author, feminist and social activist Gloria Jean Watkins (aka Bell hooks) encourages women to acknowledge their differences whilst accepting each other: to embrace sisterhood a very important practice as no two women are the same. She believes there is a need to restructure the cultural fabric of power into one that doesn’t depend on the oppression of others. She calls for the involvement of men in the feminist movement to avoid the separationist ideology, shifting the original focus of feminism away from victimization, and towards mutual understanding, appreciation, and tolerance for all genders and sexes so that all are in control of their own destinies, uncontrolled by patriarchal, capitalist tyrants.

I strongly agree with Bell Hooks, as women we must not castigate each other for our choices.The essence of feminism is to give everyone the right to own their choices, to chart their own life paths. Problem is most of us don’t own or understand our equality, as Sigmund Freud said: “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

Equality means responsibility for your choices and decisions, owning up to your mistakes, learning to make compromises in relationships, sacrificing, giving yourself the right ‘to be‘ and according the same right to another.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Ephesians 5: 21.

Comes before the remaining verses: in submitting we accept the best option at every given time under God, in loving we balance each other out: equal partners when done right.

The boss, her business and essence.

Welcome to Flavoured Friday Fodder where I get to share my thoughts on random issues. For the month of November and December I hope to throw in interviews with men and women from different works of life on different issues. Today’s interview focuses on marriage and business and  our guest is a business woman who lives in Nigeria. Please find the interview below, I hope one or two things resonate with you:


The boss, her business and essence:
BrushstrokesNG CEO
The boss

Please introduce yourself: I’m Tejumade Nwafor Mrs. Loving wife, blessed mother of 3 amazing children and a student of life.

We would love to hear your business pitch and present capacity in that business:  Brushstrokes makeovers is a beauty hub, a revolving platform where beauty is redefined daily. I presently serve as the dean of our make-up academy and the team leader of our creative department.

Her business BrushstrokesNG. Feather lite reusable false eyelashes is a brand under BrushstrokesNG.

What shaped your choice of business venture? My love for rediscovering one’s self led me here and the sheer joy evident on a satisfied client face kept me here for all these years. Also the ability to recreate the same passion in willing trainees drives me to keep going.

You started your business at a relatively young age, was that an advantage? Yes it was, I HAD AMPLE TIME TO MAKE MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM. Experiential knowledge has been one of my greatest sources of courage and platform for improvement.

Any work experience prior to this business, did you gain anything from it? As an undergraduate I studied mass communication, majoring in public relations and advertising whilst studying I worked as a voice-over artist for a few years (that was my first ever paying job, it helped take care of my needs whilst schooling). And as a youth corps member (a mandatory one year service to the Nigeria) I worked at champion newspapers a print media house in Lagos, that was my last desk job.These experiences till date influence my business and people management skills.

What worries you the most about your present business? the one path that gives me a bit of concern is continuity: taking measures to duplicate my expertise and skills in others is slowly putting that fear to rest.

What fear (if any) proved difficult to surmount: In the past I had trouble mingling with other women in my industry as I hate negative competition with a passion and it’s well known that women have a tendency to be that way, but now with God’s help and time I’ve discovered that there are” diamonds in the rough” as they say.

Where do you find courage to continue: First, from my husband whose support is unending and unconditional. Then good friends and accountability partners in my industry: there are a few out there, men and women who share a similar dream to mine but aren’t threatened by my growth or accomplishments. We help each other along the path of success

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Is marriage for everyone? No marriage isn’t for everyone

How should single people view marriage? Marriage was not created to make a sad person happy or an unfulfilled person feel fulfilled. A successful single person brings their success into marriage to built a successful team of husband, wife and perhaps children.

Do you think society’s attitude to marriage is affecting people’s choices? Yes, sadly society and especially public media has distorted what God intended marriage to be. People get married for self serving purposes, what they can get from the other partner and not what they can give. Living with one foot posed to run at the first sign of trials. Marriage is a serious partnership.

Some say marriage impedes business and personal growth, is that true in all cases? I can only speak on what I have seen and that’s not true in all cases. In my opinion, it occurs when couples are not rightly counselled before marriage, thus they have misconceptions and wrong expectations of their spouses. Marriage should be a fulfilment of the scripture that says one shall chase a thousand and two shall chase ten thousand, spouses multiplying each others capacities. Being fulfilled in marriage requires a knowing of your true self, your strengths and investing that into helping your partner and vice versa.

Did marriage bring anything to your business? YES, I GAINED A FORMIDABLE BUSINESS PARTNER AND COUNSELLOR IN MY HUSBAND. When my business clocked 10 years he encouraged me to start a legacy, to invest in something that would carry on long after I drop my brushes and thus the Brushstrokes featherlite eyelash line was born.

Raising a family is quite tasking, how does that affect your business? I started working in my chosen field before I started a family, it never posed a problem as I had a good network to help with whatever was too much for me to handle per time. I’m blessed with the support of my mother on the domestic front and staff that keep things going when I’m indisposed. In the early days however, It wasn’t easy, but I was determined to make it work.

How do you keep the family and business fronts happy? Balance: balance is necessary in everything you do as a woman. work is good in and of itself but starving any aspect of life can cause that part to die “literally”. Learn when to work and when to stop, there is certainly a time for everything.

What lessons have you taken out of marriage into business and vice versa? Building capacity, especially in relationships. Good relationships are a strong leverage when it comes to both marriage and business. Take good care of those who care for you and they will reciprocate.

In your own words please complete the sentence an achievement is …. doing what God has called me to do well.

Is marriage an achievement or not? marriage is an achievement; a means to an even greater end which is fulfilling destiny. A mutually consenting partnership with both partners building each other up to become the best possible versions of themselves.

When can we bury our dreams: bury your dreams when you are six feet under. On second thought, Never! Even post-humus, a well written out dream can be executed by the next generation.. e.g. Walt Disney.

Finally in two quotes, define your life motto:  Never stop learning, knowledge liberates.  Change is the only constant factor in life so seek change at all costs.

Click on this link to visit her website and here for her facebook page.