I remember reading an article on teaching children how to share and play nicely with each other. The writer made an important observation, as adults we rarely feel enthused to share our partners, our cars, our homes, our time. Why do we feel the immense need to teach children to share everything they have? Are we indirectly teaching them to always give in to people because they asked nicely? Because they have held the item way too long? Are indirectly teaching them to say yes to every request, feeling the need to only say No when supported by someone or justified by external factors?
The above line of thought perhaps sounds selfish, however, if you think in terms of long- term, it perhaps might help curb the sense of entitlement growing with every generation.
I want it simply because they have it. If they have, I should also have it.
I need it because it seems to make everyone who has it cool or happy.
Take from the rich and give the poor. etc.
Dignity in labour dwindles, jobs disappear, as popularity contests and get rich schemes flood the world like a tornado. Delayed gratification is now the ghost of eras sailed by and contentment is a rainbow that appears where death almost over-powers life. With every individual fighting to do life their way, it is not uncommon to find someone feeling disenfranchised at each turn.
Today, Idris Alba put up a tweet that has everyone speculating on the possibility of a black James Bond showing up on our screens. For some this is a good reason to celebrate, to do cartwheels, while popping champagne. It would be considered a rectifying of the odds, a balancing of the scales, considered a victory in the same vein as the appearance of a female Dr Who. However, I can’t help feeling sad for the child (a)who has to share every toy to keep the other child(b) happy. I can’t help wondering if child (b) hasn’t short-changed themselves by believing that happiness or fulfilment could only be found in having the exact toy child (a) has.
While I acknowledge and totally commend the strides taken to include a black bond, a female Dr who and a bat-woman, I can’t help wondering if we are winning the battle but losing the war. For the migrant on the street the war is far from over. For the jobseeker at the interview, for whom the scales tip once a minority trait is discovered, these victories matter not. We scream inclusion, but what we really have are ropes tying us up, with our bias and fears at the brink of explosion. We are all coloured, by our preferences, our thoughts, and cultures. Until we accept it and find self-acceptance we will continuously rub each other wrong.
We all need to accept that being human is all (those that look like us and those who don’t) we really have in common. We need to embrace what we have and hold it up proudly without oppressing another. Child (a) needs to learn that sharing isn’t always about handing the toy over to the other child, it might mean going home with child (b) to explore and improve their own toys without self-serving interests. Child (b) must learn to find contentment in themselves, to walk their path boldly with dignity and respect.
We need to co-exist, not clone-exist.
Our eyes tell a different story, so do the pages of our life,
Of what relevance is history, if today is a retelling of yesterday,
bid me sleep, to dream another shade of tomorrow
another fragrance of the night breeze.