Happy new year

Happy new year!

I guess in every sense of the word it is indeed a new year for me as a blogger. Today marks my fifth year on WordPress. I haven’t been ‘actively’ around in the last 2 – 3 years, life has happened, life is happening and I am sure it will carry on happening for a long while yet. But before I get carried away to the land of reminiscence permit me once more to say, happy new year again!


The last few years have been filled with so many lessons to learn and many more to unlearn. As 2020 arrived, I had only one request on my heart, to have perfect vision. To see the obvious, to decipher the hidden and to lead my heart to better days. January is almost over, there are lessons to be reviewed and thoughts to be weighed.


Lesson one: stop overthinking. When something happens, accept your responsibility in the sequence of event, admit the culpability of others involved. Overthinking: trying to decipher others intent without speaking to them, often this leads to gossip or to wish you could get back at them. Determine: to take the lessons learnt or steps discovered forward. To see people as humans who are either whole, broken, insecure, arrogant or just plain toxic.


Lesson two: accept that confidence and self- confidence are not necessarily the same things. Accept that many people don’t necessarily know the difference between both terms. Acknowledge that most people in today’s world consider the extreme of confidence i.e. arrogance to be the confidence. knowing one’s weakness in an area is not a limitation in all areas. It is self-confidence to know one’s weakness, to accept the implications of this weakness, to decipher if they’re changeable or not. This limitation should not drive you to over-compensate in other areas. Everyone has weaknesses. Simply decide: to put in your best at all times, to continually learn, to grow your strengths and develop your weaknesses were possible. Determine: not to base your sense of worth on your performance in front of others, you’re an individual not a character in a play.

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It is confidence to know when to walk alone and when to walk with another.

In 2020, Balance is key.

Goal: to always see the woods for the trees.

To know what counts each day, each season and to max out the counts.

Happy new year again!

What have you done with your year so far?

 

 

Level up

Like shadows on a plain
A solidarity in depth we share,
seemingly oblivious of our varying frame.

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Like rising shadows from the vale,

A disparity in height emerges,

youthful gale an illusive veil.

 

Like shadows in the dark,

A blade carving slowly through illusions heart 

reality dawns with a harsh bark.

 

Like shadows embracing the light,

A rebirthing occurs 

strengthened arms ready to write.

We assume to be on the same level with others based on the visible, however some have more room for growth than others. Thus some limit themselves whilst others overestimate their capacity for growth. 

Life is very smart. Under certain circumstances you’re on top and under others you’re limited or in need of more growth. Never become complacent.

 

 

Choosing choices, owning choices.

No one not even a child likes to have the right to choose taken from them. There is a certain privilege, a sense of ownership that comes with following one’s personal choice. This ranges from choices of simple matters like what to eat to complex issues of whom to trust, life will always present us with situations that appraise our sense of judgment in a moment. There are times in life when it seems like we have less of a choice to make, and more of an obligation to fulfill. For example, deciding whom to vote for in the ongoing American presidential contest is one of such obligation rather than choice situations or a choice between homelessness and a job that has nothing to do with your preferences but everything to do with keeping a roof over your head. When none of the options available come close to your personal ideals, life can feel very limiting, even claustrophobic.

Definitions of choice:

  • An act or the possibility of choosing:
  • The range of different things from which you can choose
  • Of high quality

Based on the above definitions individuals could be said to have a choice over a situation when presented with varied options to pick from with no limits or barriers except your personal preference. There are times when the best choice available isn’t necessarily your personal option. In such instances we might find ourselves in a quandary, often becoming defensive when our choices are questioned or appraised. Society, friends, relatives (both well-meaning and otherwise) often feel obligated to foist their personal choices on us. Sometimes it is done subtly with hints and suggestions e.g. an acquaintance; colleague or family member at a wedding might ask ‘when are we getting invites from you?’ or ‘Wow your little one is so grown up she must be itching for a playmate.’ Or ‘you know these bills won’t pay themselves, imagine what a proper career what do for you?’ And sometimes you get the blunt person who blurts out their choice for you ‘I think it’s time you got married and might I suggest you take Harry seriously.’

In all honesty, sometimes we need those ‘foisted suggestions’ to give us a wake-up call, and whilst the manner in which those suggestions/choices are presented is important, the more important issue is how you handle them and what you do with the choices. Do you become adapted to the choice? Or do you take ownership of the choice? Adapting to a choice is easier than taking ownership of a choice. You can positively adapt to a choice which is to do as you’ve been advised or something along those lines. Or you could negatively adapt, this involves ignoring all suggestions and taking a defiant stance. Whichever form of adaptation you choose, you subconsciously leave a leeway to place the blame for any misfortune as a result of that choice on another party other than yourself. ‘If you hadn’t told me’, ‘if they hadn’t been asking,’ lots of If’s and regrets.

Taking ownership however, means sitting back to internalize the choices or suggestions presented to you; to mull them over and decide whether or not to go for it in that moment or in the future or not ever. It also means to adapt the choice(s) available to your own personal taste and personality, without losing the main objective. This is a tough process as it means you refuse to blame anyone for the outcome of those choices except indeed they’re to blame. It often also requires personal changes and perhaps sacrifice, but these are all things we would naturally anticipate if we had thought of those choices by ourselves. Since no man is an island and sometimes we often miss what’s in front of us, we must be willing to accept that sometimes others are indeed just looking out for us. So go on and take ownership of those choices.

Life is … 21st edition.

Life is … a treasure wrapped and sustained by these three.

One: pure love. 

Love that heals every sore, never relenting in its quest to vanquish darkness within and without. 

Thus, at times hurting the giver and the receiver as it stretches them both.

Love stays beyond the waning thrones of passion, beyond the clouds of happy moments, to the dark nights of exposed inner skeletons and twisted guts.

Two: pure confidence.

Confidence that stoops to learn: never projecting itself above another, not ashamed to fail or stand out.

Thus, leaving the owner vulnerable to ridicule.

Confidence that says I rather fail for all I believe than for all you think I should belief. I rather admit that I am weak than strong with a quivering self-esteem.

Three: pure honesty.

Honesty that delves into every crevice of the mind exposing true self: fears and dreams alike, ready to acknowledge sprouting roots of discord.

Thus, it does not contemplate deceit.

Honesty that understands that a single lie like an unchecked wildfire can ravage paths to new beginnings, lead us through unnecessary mazes, destroy the sanctity of all we hold dear.

Life is … a treasure ravaged or destroyed

By a lack of or a misconstrued version of these three.


Hi there, thank you for stopping by today. This is the 21st edition of my ‘life is’ series where I try to relate life to different things in society. Would love to hear your thoughts on life is … a treasure.