To my darling bud of May,
Today has been set aside to celebrate the girl child across the world so I thought why not write a note to you my very own girl child. When I first found out I was pregnant, I remember hoping with all my heart for a boy and until the sonographer said “congratulations it’s a girl,” I held unto that hope fiercely. I had nothing against the girl child, however, being a woman I had terrible premonitions of what the future would look like for you, for us as a mother-daughter team.
See I never really understood myself as a pre-teen or teenager and if I am completely honest I still haven’t figured out everything about myself. I had visions of screaming matches, temper tantrums, pink powder explosions and dark moods vibrating off the walls. I guess the common rhetoric’s across the world hasn’t done much to calm my frayed nerves with respect to raising a girl child in today’s society.
They say it’s a mans world and my darling I must say they are not far from the truth, but who’s truth is that really? God made the world, placing male and female side by side to govern it. I guess when he told Adam to identify and name the animals, Adam decided to go one step further to name the earth calling it -Man’s world. I have no doubt he stood atop some precipice holding a branch from an oak tree while he made this life changing declaration.
I wonder what Eve was doing during this monumentus occasion? Perhaps sitting in the tree listening to the serpent mock Adam, reminding her that with the sway of her hips , the toss of her hair and puckered lips she could get Adam to do as she pleased. Sadly, she probably never considered the lengths to which her male offspring would take that declaration or how the sway of hips would end up biting her female offspring on the butt literally.
So is it really a man’s world? I think I will let you come to your own conclusion as you learn more about the world. However, as you observe this world I hope to show you the beauty that lies within it, but also the pain that attempts to overshadow that beauty. I hope to show you that whatever label they slap on the world, with a little hope, a little contentment, a heart full of prayers and a sturdy cheerleading squad (ME !!!) you can make your little niche as peaceful and wholesome as one possibly can.
They say vehemently back home in Nigeria that a woman is nothing without a man. To a given extent they have started to question that line of thought, you can’t imagine how grateful I am for that slight change. But has it really changed? If the man treats the woman right as he ought they say “the woman is NOTHING without a good man” but if he treats her wrong they say “the woman is not-a-thing with a bad man”, or “the woman is nothing with a bad man”. What do they mean by all this, again I will let you decipher the meaning.
In line with the above thoughts my daughter, I hope to show you that a woman is SOMETHING, something, some-times-a-thing, depending on how she sees herself, and how those around see her. If I don’t give you anything else my lovely child, I hope through your formative years to give you an inner voice that speaks calming and loving through corrections, and applauses alike. This I hope will draw you closer to your inner self, a self capable of shutting out the different precedents barked at the woman depending on where she finds herself. A peaceful voice that leaves no doubt in your mind that you are SOMETHING, and that sometimes in other to precipitate change it’s okay to be ‘something’ but that it is never ever okay to let yourself or anyone else make you feel like a ‘thing’.
Finally they declare strongly in the United Kingdom that the woman is equal to man. This sounds ways better than what we have back home, but is it really better? From my understanding this places the sum total of a woman’s worth subject to how the man values himself. Why isn’t she worth something simply based on who she is? Is man the zenith of perfection? The entire definition of success? Please do not misunderstand me my darling child, I am not here to preach heresy but the way I see it, Man IS, Woman IS, because God IS. If we are in his image then the only person I should desire to look like or be ‘equal’ to in potential, in right to advocate a better life for myself should be God. Once again I emphasize that I do not preach heresy, but if I must strive to attain any freedom, any height it must be to live the best godly life that I am capable of living regardless of who’s beside me.
So my darling child on this day when we celebrate the girl child I want you to know without a doubt that I will walk through the tantrums with you, I will supply the powder for the pink powder explosions and the permanent ink for colouring in the dark moods whenever they show up, if they show up. I was scared at the start but with each day I become bolder as my love for you grows. Bolder and hopefully wiser to face all our tomorrows regardless of what it throws up before us.