‘If I said your feelings for me were like the tossing waves of the ocean, never stable always changing, what would you say?
‘I would say that only a boat atop the wave knows which way it tosses and turns.’
She sighed.
He smiled.
‘And if I said you delve into the very depths of my heart like a demented pirate on uncharted waters ..?’
‘I would say fear not mi’lady for I will chart every inch of your depth with care till I find the delta of your love.’
She smiled.
He grinned.
Gentle caresses buoy on summer’s warm breeze.
For some reason the final line doesn’t sit right with me, but I don’t want to lose the word buoy and I want to keep it in present tense. What say ye?
Thanks everyone for the suggestions.
Written for Friday fictioneers a writing challenge hosted by Rochelle. The picture was provided by Jan Wayne Fields, the task is to write a 100 words story inspired by it. Thanks Rochelle for hosting the challenge. Thank you for stopping by… do click on the link to read other stories.
I’m more troubled by the repeat of gentle than the buoying in the last line
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Ahh!
Thanks Neil, might I ask why.
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Repeats sometime add to the feeling by emphasising something. Usually they just get in the way of the flow
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Ahh ok.
Thanks Neil.
🙂
🙂
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The final line is fine for me,The breeze is something I definitely feel in the image you are sharing through your words 🙂
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Awww thanks Andy.
I apprecciate the feed back.
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🙂
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^.^ so very welcome!
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🙂
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Soft caresses buoy on gentle summer’s breeze.
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Thanks Ceayr!
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🙂
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Soft caresses drift/float on gentle summer’s breeze. I think his response borders on the erotic and I’m off for a cold shower now.
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🙂
😉
You might just be right Sandra.
Thanks for suggestion.
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Yes I can see how the last sentence trouble you..
Caresses butterfly on skin of summer’s breeze… and yet it’s definitely erotic, not least the diving into depths—
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Hmmmm ….LOL
Thanks Bjorn.
I did not have erotica in mind though but I can see how it would read so.
🙂
🙂
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Lots of erotic connotation there, I thought – exploring depths, anyone? 🙂 Love the line about the demented pirate – they have a very interesting and lively relationship I think 🙂
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Ohhhh dear Lynn!!
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😉
They do have an interesting relationship.
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They sound like they have a lot of fun though 🙂
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I think so too.
I love their playfulness.
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Love that kind of jokey, sassy dialogue – very real. It’s how people who are comfortable speak to each other 🙂
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Your piece has the feel of some historical romances I read in my teenage years 🙂
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🙂
🙂
Thanks Mandy that was exactly what I was going for.
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Beautiful!
Love that they adapted their words to the surrounding!
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Thank you!!
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🙂
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Lovely piece, and I like the last line 🙂
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ThanksDraliman!
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🙂
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It does read a touch erotic, yes. 🙂 But it’s not overwhelmingly so. I like the banter and the ending line.
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Thank you very much Vinay!
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I like his responses. What a romantic little piece.
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Thanks Russell!
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🙂
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Very sensual. I find nothing wrong with your last sentence. Great take on the prompt.
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Thank you very much Gahlearner.
I’ve changed it a bit now.
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🙂
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almost poetic
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Thanks IB.
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🙂
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Lovely and definitely softly erotic. The best kind or erotic in my book.
Great job,
Tracey
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Lol @ definitely erotic.
Thanks Tracey.
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🙂
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A bold pirate indeed !:)
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Hehehehehe!
He certainly is.
Thanks Nonnaci.
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🙂
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Very romantic. I love the use of the nautical words to depict a romantic love making
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🙂
🙂
Thanks Mickwynn.
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The nautical theme in their conversation imakes me smile, and the slightly sexy banter makes me smile more. Well done!
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Aww thanks Jan!
Sorry for the late response.
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🙂
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Dear Chioma,
Atmospheric and lovely.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle!
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🙂
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Gently erotic, that’s the way I like it as well.
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Thanks Dawn!
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Aw, this made me grin. It felt both saucy and romantic. Nice one!
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Thanks Amy!
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🙂
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Lovely, a literary couple! 🙂
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Thank you!
🙂
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Awesome Website. Really enjoyed reading.
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Thank you!
🙂
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