“Ahhh which bus are you taking? Oh, I forgot, today is ‘Vincent Fridays’.” rolling her eyes in mock understanding.
Sticking my tongue out at her “Na you know, as if ‘uncle’ won’t be coming to see you tomorrow.”
“Hmmm, whatever happens don’t sha let him eat the ‘hot yam’ keep the lid on the pot.”
“Youuuu! Clean-up your gutter mind joor.”
Boarding the bus, I unconsciously perused my fellow passengers nothing weird there. Minutes later the bus left the park.
Addressing everyone the conductor requested for the fare “Abeg make una bring money come.”
And then the drama started.
The picture brought back lots of bus memories from home, not necessarily tour buses rather regular intra-city buses. The story is written in pidgin English and is best read as though you a reading regular English text. Bus fares are usually paid on the bus and having a large currency note often means a verbal fight with the conduct to get your change back:: sometimes it even becomes physical. Some words are explained further down and the story is expanded as well.
In response to Friday fictioneers writing challenge hosted by Rochelle. The picture was provided by Ron Pruitt and the task is to write a 100 words story inspired by it. Thanks Rochelle for hosting it, see you next week.
Thank you for stopping by…do click on the link to read other stories.
Wearing a face designed to communicate my street rugged personality and possibly bar any rude remarks from him, I stretched out my one thousand naira note towards the conductor.
“Wetin be dis, you no hear when I talk say I no get one thousand or five hundred naira change.”
It must be my work clothes and smooth make-up that gave me up, I was going to have to do more than a face to get out of this one.
“I did not hear anything. Besides it’s evening you can’t say you don’t have change at this time.” I replied in my meanest voice ever.
“Driver abeg stop this bus! Who you dey speak english for, you think say I be your boyfriend. Commot from my bus and you go pay for the place wey I don carry you reach oh!”
“How will I pay you, when I don’t have any other money?
“Dat wan no be my problem, I say stop this bus make this idiot waka commot.” By now his shouting and spewing saliva on those close to him whilst pressing in his sweaty body into their faces as he demonstrates his anger.
“No dey rub me dirty joor” one of the passenger next to him cries.
“Conduct e never reach that level, bring the one thousand naira come. I get change” Called a voice, she saved the day.
But not quite as another fight started again … oh the life of a Lagos state bus commuter.
Abeg: means please.
Una: means you people.
Wetin be dis: means what is this?
Who you dey?: means who are you?
Waka commot: walk out
Eat hot yam: refers to having sex