A female horseman

Devilish little thing, isn't she?  (Photo credit: ktryon)
Photo credit: ktryon

The four horsemen of the apocalypse are War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death. Have you ever imagined any of them being a woman? Well if they were allowed to choose and one could be female, I know which one it would be.

It won’t be Famine: Because women love food. Growing the raw material for it, creating it, savouring it and finding comfort in it. Imagine a world devoid of ice-cream, cakes, chocolate, warm bowl of soup after a huge fight/break up with your significant other. No food also means no lovely date nights, romantic gestures such as home cooked meal served by your dashing date. You get the gist, women won’t be ending the world via food crisis any time soon.

So how about pestilence:  What? pesti..who?  By its very definition pestilence won’t work for a woman. Pestilence: a contagious or infectious epidemic disease that is virulent and devastating (merriam-webster). She might wish it on her rivals, business rivals, beauty rivals, school rivals, e.t.c. But on all humanity, NO. She needs someone to talk to, play with, learn from, gossip with, someone to thump her nose up at, someone to fight with and someone to fight over. So NO pestilence is not her style

Now death is rather gruesome and last I checked women prefer to birth things not end them. Birth of a baby, a relationship, a career e.t.c. By nature’s design we love to nurture things, we have the staying power to imagine and hope things will get better, hence we often find ourselves in situations that should have ended before they even started. And as stated in the above paragraph we won’t kill everyone ‘cos that just leaves us in a boring lonely vacuum.

But now WAR! that sounds more like us. Its not that we want blood shed or heedless death but the thing is we are crafty at creating webs that can start a fight and we don’t handle insubordination very well either. Thus, if we say go left. YOU GO LEFT. IF WE SAY WE ARE RIGHT AUTOMATICALLY YOU ARE WRONG. If you don’t know the right answer to the question don’t speak, if you must speak then,say only positive things. Do ensure that you don’t say, think, or do anything wrong when we are hormonal or else THERE WILL BE  BLOOD AND IT WON’T BE OURS. So you see its quite simple really the horseman representing war should be female for by her very nature she is feisty and can create a tangled web just as Eve did in the garden.


In response to the writing challenge hosted by bumblepuppies, the instruction was to write a post on which of the four horsemen of the apocalypse  would be best represented as a woman?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse are War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death.  Needless to say, these horsemen are all men.  Since women are also quite capable of destruction, there ought to be at least one among the apocalyptic ranks.

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12 thoughts on “A female horseman

  1. A thought-provoking look at the four horsemen. Your reasoning for each one is engaging and also humorous in parts. I can see why you dismissed the first three oughtright, but I’d be hard-pushed to opt for War, either! Well written, Chioma. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Funnily enough, Chioma, I’d probably pick the same one as you! I really don’t like the others, and if a woman were in control of War I think things would be organised much differently. To be honest, I don’t think many women would opt for any of them. We are the homemakers and nurturers, and all four of the horsemen’s attributes go against all the things that (most) women stand for. (Personal opinion here). Still, the question made for an interesting post.

        Liked by 1 person

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